I found myself awake all night last night. Even after taking a sleeping pill. :( I have a lot going on in my head right now, a lot of life changing decisions to be made and well, to put it simply, I can only handle so much right now.
To keep this brutal and open and honest, I started taking Cymbalta 14 days ago. An anti-depressant that my PCP thought would help me greatly. So 14 days after starting it...how do I feel??? Better. Much better than 14 days ago. I'm able to get through each day, I'm smiling and laughing again, I'm hopeful. Is it the medication? Right now, I could care less. If it is, great, thanks Doc! If not, then what's the down side?
I was very against taking anti-depressants because I've heard such horror stories. It changing someone's personality completely, and stories of people who turned suicidal. Which after what's happened, is the LAST thing on my mind. So I've asked my Mom, Todd and a few others to inform me IMMEDIATELY if they see any negative effects. So far so good! haha
Back to last night, I was informed yesterday of a decision my Daddy made regarding his life insurance that didn't shock me (as he made his wishes well known) but just further complicated life for me. I soon found myself feeling like no matter the choice I make, there is going to be backlash. Which just sucks. My Daddy was ultimately the one who decided how he wanted things...but it just puts a GIANT load of pressure on me. Which right now, is the LAST thing I want.
My only intention is to do my Daddy proud and provide a life for my family, because I know that is what he wanted.
I cannot believe it is March already. Where have the last 2 months gone? It seems like January 19th was just yesterday...
I did my first official shoot back after my Daddy's passing. It was a beautiful 9 day old baby boy named Bentley. He was not really in the mood for photos, but I did manage to capture a few beautiful moments:
I found myself really happy after the shoot. I know it means a lot to my Daddy that I'm back taking photos again. He LOVED to see each and every photo I took. Always giving me tips and telling me how proud he was. I am so thankful for everyone who has supported my glorified hobby. :)
Next weekend I get to have a nice little mini vacation!! Looking forward to a nice weekend away, and as much as I adore my children, a few days away would do me some good. Not gonna lie. Haha.