Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My half FULL glass

It's been 3 months. 3 of the most difficult months of my entire life. Losing my Daddy so tragically has put my entire life into a non-stop roller coaster of emotions. Whether learning the hard way who I can really count on, or being a part of the most amazing selfless act of kindness...good or bad, each day, each problem has only made me stronger. I refuse to stop going, I refuse to stop trying, and most importantly, I refuse to be miserable. I could sit in bed all day, I could remove myself from loved ones, I could take my anger out on others...but that doesn't sound like any fun at all. I just want to be happy! I want to continue to build a stronger relationship with Todd, I want to watch our kids grow up, happy, I just want to be happy. Plain and simple.

I am happy to announce that I am officially a homeowner! The best possible news I could think to share!! My Daddy would be so proud. I purchased a HUD property in Maricopa that was a SMOKING deal. A beautiful 2 story, 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath with a loft. Almost 1900sf! (which is about 900sf more than I thought I'd be able to get) in a stunning neighborhood walking distance from school and several different parks. I feel so very blessed and thankful that the money my Daddy left me has allowed me to provide a home for our family. I can feel him smiling about it.

There is a lot that comes along with owning a home, and the moving and packing and etc etc. It's been exhausting, but I wouldn't take any of it back. Nothing good is easy. :)

I still cry, I still have rough days, nights, afternoons, mornings, weeks...I am still hurting, and missing him terribly! It isn't easier as time goes by, I just have become stronger. Or at least that is what I'm telling myself!

I can't say enough about how incredible Todd has been. By my side through thick and thin. He's put up with me for the last few weeks, through the ups and insane downs. He does everything he can to make life as easy on me as possible. Making meals, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, you name it, he's done it. Maybe it took FOREVER for us to get to the place we are now, but it was worth every bump in the road.

All in all things are good. I don't think I'll ever get over seeing what I saw, but I've learned to live with it and will continue to turn this negative into a positive! The glass is half full!!

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