Sunday, April 24, 2011

Milestone

Made it through a tough milestone today. First Holiday without my Daddy. It was bittersweet really. I had an AMAZING day with Todd's family, who I adore!! His Sister Tiffany, her Husband Eric and their 3 beautiful children and Eric's parent's whom we've always referred to as Ma and Pa. I couldn't imagine a better group of people to spend this Easter with. I enjoyed every second of the day. We played games, we laughed, we just really had a nice time. It just kept making me think "God I wish he was here" or "I can't wait to go home to tell Daddy about..." I catch myself with that thought a lot.

Regardless I wouldn't change a thing. Actually, I would of applied sunblock! I have a wicked sun burn! Oh boy am I gonna hurt tomorrow! Nora is a lil red too :( But the wind (worst day EVER to wear a dress! btw) was such a nice balance to the warm day. All in all, Easter was a hit! The kids had a blast and are sleeping their sugar highs away.

I find myself with a lot of anxiety over thinking about everything that has to be done before Saturday. Lots of packing, painting, cleaning and organizing. But I know that it will all turn out beautifully! Or at least that is what I am sticking too! :)

I told my Daddy's best friend Robert the other day "I can handle anything" to which he replied "No you can't" In that split second I realized he's right. I can't put myself through just anything and expect my body or mind or heart to handle the pain. But I can...and rephrased my comment to "I can get through anything"

Sexual abuse at a young age, losing my Grandma, my Crohn's battle, the ups and downs of my marriage, the sudden loss of my Daddy, thrush, family drama....

I don't care what it is...I will get through it. Why? Because I can get through anything. That is the one thing I am most certain of. My strength. It's been tested, and tested, and tested...and here I am about to move into my first home, with my family, and I get to spend the rest of my life watching my family grow. I think I've got it pretty good.

I miss him. I will ALWAYS miss him. He was my rock. He was my EVERYTHING. But he is gone and I must move on.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

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