Thursday, January 24, 2013

Pink Has Always Been My Favorite Color

I made it past the 2 year mark!

I awoke the morning of the 19th with instant anxiety about what the day had in store for me. But to my amazement, as I walked down the stairs, I noticed pink post it notes all over. Each containing a sweet message. 28 bright pink reminders of how damn lucky I am. 28 notes confirming the love and devotion shared between me and my Husband.

He feverishly prepared a big breakfast as I stood there in tears watching the man I love so much making every effort to soften the blow of the 2nd Anniversary of the worst day of my life.

It ended up being a really great day. I didn't sit in tears saddened by the loss, but uplifted by the fact that I had made it through a difficult milestone with such ease.

I am so thankful for my life. I cannot put to words how lucky I feel to have such an incredible man beside me. He is my rock.

To my Husband, my boo, I thank you for your undying support and love.

Monday, January 7, 2013

The Big 3-0

am no longer a 20-something. As of January 5th, I am 30. I have officially been alive for 3 decades! Yikes!

My Birthday was absolutely wonderful. If it wasn't getting a billion Facebook notifications from people sending well wishes, it was cards, and gifts and family and friends surrounding me with love and generosity. We went out to Dinner, played some games and went home and enjoyed some drinks and a movie. Then the following day, while my Mom watched the kids, my Husband and I went on a date day. Movies and shopping!! I almost felt overwhelmed with how different this year has been compared to last year.

Last year I was depressed, and not myself. I was trying to pretend to be happy, to put on a happy face while inside I was falling deeper and deeper into depression, paralyzed by grief. I learned the hard way who to trust and whom to surround myself with. It's hard to look back and remember how dark those days really were. But, I am not that person anymore. I am not overwhelmed by my grief and sorrow. More importantly, I am happy. Happier than I thought possible actually.

I have discovered through my healing, and letting go, that I have nothing but well wishes for those around me, even those who are no longer a part of my life now. I am not holding on to ill feelings, and I no longer am making excuses or finding reasons to justify my feelings. I know who I am, I know who I want to spend my time with, who I can trust, and most importantly, I know what makes me happy and I want the same happiness for everyone.

I want everyone to have a Husband/Wife that is truly their partner, whom helps out whenever possible, and whom is their best friend.

I want everyone to have children who make them proud daily, and who bring their life indescribable joy.

I want everyone to have Parents that lift them up, support them, and whom are always a source of strength

I want everyone to have Friends who check up on you, who send you funny texts to brighten your day, who inspire you daily to be more creative, and who are selfless and understanding, even when you aren't at your best.

But most of all, I want everyone to be happy. I want you all to wake up each day thankful for the opportunity to try again, to love harder, and to take another breath.

When you let go of the negativity, resentment, drama, and realize that happiness is a state of mind, and wishing well upon others is the ultimate key to inner peace, life really begins!

So to 30, I look forward to the next decade and all the amazing opportunities it has in store for me and my loved ones.