The other day I asked my friends to give me 1 word to describe me. These were the following answers:
My reason for asking my Family and Friends to do this was to prove a point.
If I were to make a list of words I felt described me they would be as follows:
The reflection I see in my mirror doesn't match what others in my life see. Though slowly I have worked towards believing in myself. Seeing what others see.
This is a daunting process when there are individuals who are literally hoping for me to fail. When I don't have the support from Family I once had, or my Dad who always saw the very best in me.
As daunting as it may be, the more I look at the reflection the more beauty I discover, the stronger I feel. It's a beautiful thing to experience.
I have and will never pretend to be anything other than me. I don't sugar coat my life, or pretend to be something or someone I am not. Instead I spend each day making my reflection match my heart and soul which are what make up all the beautiful words used to describe myself by those around me.
I am far from perfect, but perfectly flawed. I am able to see past all the BS and drama and focus on the positives. This has always been my strongest asset in life. Perception!
Yet, I am still plagued by night terrors of the sound of myself screaming "Noooo! Oh please nooo! Daddy nooo!" While standing over his body with no face and blood everywhere. I wake up covered in sweat and can't shake the image all day long.
I wish I could say that I am perfect, free of faults and bad memories and GRIEF. But that would be a lie. It is a part of me. Far from perfect.