Monday, February 22, 2016

Becky, Becky, Bo-Becky

In this day in age, where instant gratification is everywhere and the virtual world seems to rule. Our lives are becoming overburdened with the need to share everything we do. This burden carries a load that I personally think is greatly affecting our quality of life. This need to share our perfect moments. A burden that, unfortunately can be quite harmful to ones self esteem when paired with photo after photo of people's happy moments while you, yourself are anything but happy. I know this was really hard for me after my Dad's suicide. Seeing photos of people with their Dad, people just living life. Being happy. It hurt. Not because I didn't want others to be happy, but it was just a constant reminder of what I didn't have. What I didn't feel. No one else is to blame for that, but having it in my face in today's digital capacity was hard.

As we scroll through our news feeds each day, we see carefully curated moments in the lives of our friends, family and sometimes, total strangers. These well thought out, carefully framed snapshots into their world give us perfection in one post. You know, the posts that make you feel like you are totally slacking on all things life related. 

An example:
Becky shares a post with a photo of the 4 dozen fresh blueberry muffins she made this morning after her 5 mile jog with her twins. Who were strapped to the back of her Camelpack that was filled with spring water from her 10,000 mile hike up the holy peaks of Mt. Whogivesacrap. She then shares another snap of her and said twins who are angelically napping in their crib with a caption that reads "I wish they never slept, it's been hours" or "I could just hold them all day." Followed again by a photo of a huge spread of a dinner for two. Steak, lobster, the works! You can almost smell how good it tastes just by the photo. Wow, Becky is a badass. Then, she ends her picture perfect day with a sunset silhouette snap of her and her Husband kissing with cocktails, kids are of course sleeping soundly again with no interruptions.

Ahhhhhhhhhh I wanna be Becky. Becky has it all.

We all have a Becky in our newsfeed. We have all been a Becky. But, what we don't seem to realize, is that Becky is screwing with our realities. She is forcing us to believe in unrealistic lives.

Becky isn't real. Her life isn't real. She is pulled straight from a fairytale. Becky is the highlight reel. Becky is the 1 good day out of a thousand bad ones.

Becky fails to show us the 2am feedings, in tears. The hiding in the laundry room so you can sneak a bar of chocolate without hearing the dreaded "can I have some" She doesn't beautifully frame a shot of explosive diarrhea on her hand as she changes one angel while holding on to the ankle of the other as it crawls away screaming. The lighting doesn't stunningly strike her face as she tirelessly mops floors for the umpteenth time. She doesn't show us real life.   

Life is hard enough without a Becky making us feel inadequate, and being an adult can be exhausting. But, we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. It's not about what you post. Stop trying to find moments to share and find more moments to live. Stop comparing yourself to a false reality.

When you are feeling like you can't hold on any longer, remind yourself that in the real world, you are not alone. We are all holding on with just one hand, some days a single finger. We are all winging it, trying to make it through another day. We are all fighting some sort of battle, but the time has come to stop the one within ourselves.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Facebook life. But, I would much rather live it with you. Call me. Text me. Let's get together, get out and live.